My only resolution is to figure out odd things in 2024

I’ve said it many times, but I’m not fond of making resolutions. I don’t need a calendar to remind me to read more books, watch less television and stop considering the supersize option.

Instead of making changes, I’d like to figure out why my mind wanders.

Why is there an obsession to wear blue jeans with huge holes and rips? I’m old enough to remember iron-on patches when we wore our knees out the old-fashioned way – playing outside. I introduced Donnie Van Zant and Richard Petty at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway several years ago, and Van Zant was wearing pants with several frayed rips. Without hesitation, Petty said: “Something’s been eatin’ your britches, son.” That’s why he’s the King.

Have you wondered why people driving Jeeps line the dashboard with small figurines like rubber ducks?

I don’t know about you, but I always give myself a five-star rating when Walmart asks for my opinion at the self-checkout register.

Maybe somebody can tell me why I have to pay sales tax when I buy dirt and cow manure at the garden shop. That really stinks.

During an interview, I heard a mall general manager talking about Christmas shopping last week. He said it’s rare to have a Saturday before Christmas. Uhm, isn’t there always a Saturday before Christmas? It’s like asking if there’s a Fourth of July in England.

They say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” That’s true, unless you’re a fan of the Jacksonville Jaguars and you keep allowing yourself to be fooled nine out of every 10 seasons.

Do you ever get frustrated by local television news when they tell you part of the story and promise to tell you the rest later in the broadcast?

Why do I pay nearly $200 monthly for cable television, and there’s nothing worth watching? Of course, I don’t get ABC or NBC because DirecTV and U-verse have blacked out Tenga Inc. stations for more money.

Guacamole.

I don’t understand why anyone would live in California. I had a friend return from a short trip, and he said you have to weave through people sleeping on the street in Los Angeles. I know a couple who had to move back in with his mother because their monthly taxes increased by $600 – not to $600, but in addition to their current taxes.

I find it amusing when you ask a Democrat a question about one of their failed programs, and they always shift it back to Donald Trump. In fairness, when you ask a conservative about a problem with Trump, they turn it back on Joe Biden.

Do electric cars have gas pedals?

The national media and Democrats are blaming Republicans for not advancing the aid package to Ukraine because they want southern border security tied to it. But aren’t the Democrats just as responsible for not dealing in good faith for refusing to add border changes? Both sides are so committed to their party’s marching orders they have become dysfunctional. And who loses? All of us.

Who keeps sneaking into my computer bag and tying my USB cables into knots?

Why is movie theater-buttered popcorn five times better than anything I can make at home?

Also, I want to find out why Fox News sent me an alert about Taylor Swift screaming from the luxury box when Travis Kelce didn’t draw a pass interference call.

And, I don’t know why my mother’s Dutch-German background led to us having sauerkraut, pork and buttered mashed potatoes on New Year’s Day, Or why my father’s southern roots include blackeyed peas and collard greens. I only know I will resolve to enjoy both cultures.

Happy New Year everyone.