I Just Want to be Cremated
“I don’t want anybody staring down at me lying in a coffin! Dust to dust ashes to ashes, that’s my philosophy. Send me flowers while I’m living I’ve always said. When my time comes I just want to be cremated.”
That’s good. At least you’ve made that important decision so your loved ones don’t have to decide it for you.
Cremation is gaining popularity and people are choosing this method for disposition of their remains more than any time in recent history. The reasons vary from person to person, but lower cost seems to be one of the biggest factors driving this trend.
Another reason is that it simplifies, or at least seems to simplify, the order of events when a death occurs.
Cremation sounds easy, clean and worry-free.
While this sounds plausible it’s not entirely true. Here are some points to consider when choosing cremation for a family member who has recently died, or even for your own choice in the future, a prearrangement. Like most things in life, being informed and educated about cremation and other end-of-life details helps to make the process a bit easier.
First, be sure of your motivation.
Selecting cremation simply because it’s less expensive may not be the wisest choice. Yes, we should only spend money on things for which we find value; but when talking about the disposition of something as precious and emotionally-complex as the physical body which carried our loved one’s soul (spirit, life force, essence) for their whole life, we’d do well to think it through.
Second, be sure you know what cremation entails.
What happens during the actual cremation process is sometimes a tough emotional pill to swallow. Imagining your loved one’s body during the cremation itself can be very taxing on your thoughts both now and in the future, especially given the range of emotions which accompany the loss of someone close to you.
Granted, some would say the same about picturing what happens to someone buried in a casket. Either way it’s important you’re at peace with your decision. It’s rarely beneficial to delve too deeply into what actually happens to the remains (during cremation or traditional burial), but cremation is an irreversible process, so be certain this is what you want.
Thirdly, just because cremation is chosen as the final disposition of the remains doesn’t preclude you and your family from setting aside some time to celebrate the life and acknowledge the death of your loved one.
Yes, death is a sad affair and the process is natural and unavoidable, but that doesn’t mean that we should just go on living our lives as if nothing happened. For most people, significant life events are worth stopping our routines for a short time and doing something special.
Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, promotions, graduations and the like all carry with them a sense of the need to recognize what has happened or what has been accomplished by having some type of ceremony to mark the event.
There is something innately human about ceremony and marking the life and death of someone we love should be no different.
Funerals, memorial services, wakes, even gatherings at a restaurant, a religious location or other special place, carry with them the corporate sense that remembering this particular life is worth temporarily rearranging our hectic schedules.
So, when cremation is your choice, consider these things and be sure you are choosing rightly for your loved one (or even for yourself in the future).
If you can answer “yes” to two questions, you’ve most likely made a good choice: “Did I do the right thing?” and, “Did I do what they would’ve wanted?”
Not only will a well-thought decision help with the long process of healing…
…your head will rest easier on the pillow tonight.
Craig R. Seaton is a singer, songwriter and writer who lives in Orange Park.
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